I refuse to call them deadbeat "dads". Dads love their kids, provide for their kids, protect their kids and would put down their lives for their kids; dads do not abandon their kids.
When a man will only work under the table or for cash so he doesn't get nabbed for child support, he's not a "dad".
When a man places his child in peril in order to get to the mother, he's not a "dad".
When a man doesn't even send a card to his child at Christmastime, he isn't a "dad".
When a man is heard shouting, "I don't give a fuck about him!", he definitely isn't a "dad".
But what do you call "a man" (and I have been using that word very loosely) who is of the deadbeat variety but who has further devolved into a stalker of the child's mother? "A man" who will plead, cry, promise and when all else fails, threaten, to get back into the mother's life? Not for the child but because he has become obsessed with owning/controlling her?
What do you call someone like that? Psychopath comes to mind.
And who gets hurt when someone like that decides that it's his life goal to make life as miserable as possible for all involved? Who gets hurt the worst?
The child. Not right away but eventually when he discovers that many of his friends in school have dads and he doesn't and no matter how the child's mother might white-wash the reasons for his absence, that child will conclude that his "dad" left him behind. The child will ask himself, "what did I do to make my "dad" abandon me?"
This is the legacy of deadbeat sperm donors - all the children who will wonder what they did wrong...
But do deadbeat sperm donor psychopathic stalkers care about the child? Of course not. To a deadbeat sperm donor psychopathic stalker, the child is merely a means to an end. To a deadbeat sperm donor psychopathic stalker the most important person in their life is THEM.
So please, let's all stop calling them deadbeat "dads".
